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Understanding My Role

Hi Everyone! It’s Alex Here! This post is long; however, I wanted to let everyone know where I am at in the process of moving! IMG_2527

Leading up to our move to New York, my heart has been very anxious. Instead of dealing with my anxious heart and tugging that God is doing in my life, I have tried to water it down with packing, getting our life ready for New York, and saying goodbye to family and friends. Let me explain.

Before Seth and I got married, I almost called off our wedding a couple of times because I knew that what I wanted to do in life would be set aside in order for Seth to achieve his dreams. Honestly,  I did not know if I could do that being that I have goals and dreams that I wanted to achieve as well. I did not want to follow someone else and then have to wait five or six years to follow my dreams.

This summer before our wedding, God was dealing with my heart in a tremendous way, but I was still struggling. In my head, I had two choices: 1. Be selfish and do not get married because once I got married, there was no room for selfishness. Move wherever I wanted to in the United States or Europe and continue following my dreams. or 2. Set aside my selfishness and trust in the Lord. Trust that He brought us together for a reason and know that marrying Seth would be one of the best decisions I could make in life.

I was led to marry Seth on August 8, 2015. It was not an easy decision. I knew that I would struggle in the future with understand my role as a wife as I followed Seth and watched him achieve his dreams. In November Seth and I took a trip to Houghton College in New York for him to audition and be interviewed for the Greatbatch School of Music Graduate Program. Even though we were only there for 20 hours, the Holy Spirit brought it to my attention in a strong way that we were going to move to New York for Seth to attend graduate school and I could not be happier because I could tell that God wanted us there. Fast forward to February 14 of this year when Seth made the decision to go to Houghton.

Since February, God has been shaping me and molding me. Somedays I really struggle in understanding what my role will be in New York. I struggle with finding my worth in Christ and in Christ alone. I struggle with having an anxious heart. I struggle with knowing that He will take care of me and that I will find a job in small little rural town of Houghton, New York.

In John 2, Jesus is invited to a wedding with his disciples. During the wedding festivities, the wine ran out. “When the wine ran out, the mother of Jesus said to him, “They have no wine.” And Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does this have to do with me? My hour has not yet come.”  His mother said to the servants,“Do whatever he tells you.” Now there were six stone water jars there for the Jewish rites of purification, each holding twenty or thirty gallons. Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water.” And they filled them up to the brim. And he said to them, “Now draw some out and take it to the master of the feast.” So they took it.  When the master of the feast tasted the water now become wine, and did not know where it came from (though the servants who had drawn the water knew), the master of the feast called the bridegroom  and said to him, “Everyone serves the good wine first, and when people have drunk freely, then the poor wine. But you have kept the good wine until now.” This, the first of his signs, Jesus did at Cana in Galilee, and manifested his glory. And his disciples believed in him.”   John 2:1-11

I love in verse two when Jesus’s mother says, “Do whatever He tells you.” I know that seems very simple, but what if we did whatever Jesus told us to do? Whatever our struggles were- mine being trying to understand my role in Houghton, would be taken care of because His glory would be shown. Whatever role that Christ calls me to, I know that I can find joy in knowing that I am following Him.

-Alex

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