Hi Friends! I hope you are having a great week. This work week is going by a lot smoother compared to last week. We are starting to get into a routine, which I am super happy about because I feel like we do life better when there is routine.
In my last blog post, I mentioned that I was going to be writing about how I have changed within the last six months. Since January I have been going through a lot of issues that one may not see when I post happy pictures of Seth and I on Facebook or Instagram. I have been dealing with what I think is the biggest thief of joy in my life… comparison.
I’ve found myself tending to compare myself to Seth, to close friends, and even to people on Instagram whom I have never met before. Comparison has radically changed my life and my relationship with Christ has suffered because of it.
Because of comparison I had stopped praying and reading my bible daily, which allowed anger into my life. I’ve also felt consistently bitter at those friends that I think have it all (and by ‘all’ I mean those who know what career path they are going on and are having babies). It is so easy in our world today to see something on Instagram and say “I wish I was that happy” or “man I wish I was going on that wonderful European vacation with my husband..” With technology being at our fingertips, it allows for our insecurities to be brought out of the dark and into the light regardless of whether we are ready for them or not.
These last few months I have felt uneasy and anxious. Comparison has controlled my life. I allowed the life my friends have created to dictate what my life should look like. I became extremely bitter and frustrated that at this time Seth and I are not having children, when it felt like every single one of our friends either had a baby or was pregnant. I found myself having an extremely difficult time being happy for our friends who were having a baby – which is an issue completely on my own. I tried to control my thoughts, but ultimately because I wanted that control, I was giving none of it to God and only making it harder on myself.
Lara Casey who is the editor of Southern Weddings and founder of “Cultivate what Matters” said, “Comparison isn’t the thief of joy, its the thief of everything. Keep your eyes on your purposeful path. Celebrate others. Celebrate progress, not perfection. Cultivate gratitude over comparison. Gratitude turns what we have into more than enough.” I thought that this quote was perfect for where I was in life and purposefully saved it as my computer background knowing everyday that it would be staring right at me.
The American ‘ideal woman’ has changed drastically throughout the last 100 years. I feel, in fact, like social media has tried to mold what it means to be a ‘perfect woman’. What really is the ideal woman? Shouldn’t our world view the ideal woman as strong, confident in who she is, and as someone who is not going to allow social media to mold them? I wish it was that easy! The perception of the ‘ideal woman’ I get from social media only leads to feelings of inferiority and shame. Through my self doubt, loss of confidence, bitterness and comparison my relationship with Christ had only grown out of necessity. My unresolved issues are slowly finding their absolute satisfaction in the love of Christ. Will I never deal with this again? Absolutely not. Will I turn away from Christ again? Absolutely because my fleshly sinful nature will win, but perhaps not right now.
I have missed out on so much these last six months. I have missed out on honestly rejoicing with my dear friends. I have missed out on how beautiful and great marriage is and how happy I am with the partner that God set aside just for me. I have missed out on the life that God has specifically laid out for me because I allowed comparison to be the thief of joy in my life.
Don’t let comparison steal the joy in your life. Keep your eyes on the purposeful path!